Andersisms 3.5

He's at it again, folks...

Mom: I need some personal space

Anders: I need some personal space on your lap

While battling two of his dinosaurs:
"When they're fighting they're in the Ice Age and when they're being nice they're in the Book of Mormon"

Mom and Dad were talking about the monstrous portions Anders had been eating at lunch 

Mom: maybe I just need to start cutting him off

Anders: what does that mean?

Mom: it means not giving you any more food

10 minutes later

Anders: more pizza please

Mom: that's enough pizza

Anders (with a mouth full of food): Are you cutting me off?

Introducing himself to another boy at library story time:

Anders: Hi, I'm Anders

Boy: introduces himself by his full name in a verrrry thick southern accent

Anders: Dad, he's speaking Spanish!

Observing his poop in a restaurant bathroom, "Dad look! I see a bear swimming!" <looks deeper into the toilet> "And a snake!"

While accidentally locked in his room (on the same day we had gotten locked out of the house) and trying unsuccessfully to open the lock.

"(Sigh) Mom, maybe we should just call a locksman."

Aunt Jessica: Anders, what do you want for your birthday?

Anders: Corn.

While laying on the bed next to Rosie reading books, Rosie leaned over and grabbed at Anders face

Anders: Oh, mom! Rosie learned how to scratch people when they have itches!

Mom: Anders for the last time, GO POTTY!

Anders: BUT GIANT GROUND SLOTHS DON'T GO POTTY!

While letting him sit in the front seat while we drove down the driveway: 

"Now we're like two brothers!"

While waiting at a stop light and feeling the booming bass from the car next to us

Anders: what song is that?

Mom: I don't know what it's called. Some kind of rap song. 

Anders: Is it about cars?

(quietly to himself): no its not about cars

Is it about butterflies?

Mom: Anders what are you going to order at brunch

Anders: maybe French toast! Does it have a French horn in it?

Anders had just done something mean to Rosie and dad pulled him to the side to have a talk. 

Dad: so what are you going to do next time?

Anders: stop, collaborate, and listen? 

While looking for a specific pen

Mom: what does it look like?
Anders (holding up one finger): it looks like a line across

While dog sitting for our friend's dog Max:

Anders (calling out from the next room): Max, where are you?

Mom: Max is in the kitchen with me

<pause>

Anders: what is he making?

While telling me about a fictional museum downtown with a dog that bites people

Mom: I don't want to go to that museum!

Anders: yeah only mean people go there. Joker, Donald Trump, Chick Hicks....

So in summation: food, bad guys, and the bathroom. Someone must be three!

Andersays

Anders is universally considered to be the funniest member of the family. Even Rosie agrees. Here are some of his more memorable quotes of the last couple of months

A few days after the 4th of July we heard Rosie crying and went upstairs to get her up from her nap. Anders beat me there and when I walked into the room I heard him telling her, "It's ok sweetheart. Don't cry. Mommy's here. Did the fireworks scare you?" I think he may have been projecting ;)

 

He also got really into the Star Spangled Banner and started asking for it as his bedtime song. Those octave jumps are not kind to the Von Ottley Family Singers.

 

Upon seeing that Anders had colored in a book
Me: "Anders, did you color in this book?"
Anders (whispering with his finger to his mouth): "Shhhh, mom, we need to be quiet. Rosie's sleeping"

I came out of the bathroom to this scene and Anders immediately piped up, "I didn't color on my hands! I was just coloring on paper!"

Anders was supposed to be napping but had been playing in bed for over an hour. I went to go check on him and he was laying on his back with his hands as binoculars over his eyes. He looked up at me and said seriously, "I'm keeping my eyes peeled...for motorcycles"

While in a public bathroom with Adam
Adam: "Anders, don't touch anything in here"
Anders, standing inches from the stall door: "can I touch this with my....nose?"
Adam: "um, ok."
Anders, touches the door with his nose and in the process bumps it with the rest of his body: "Can I touch it with my...belly?"

While grocery shopping
Me: "ok, we need some..."
Anders: "CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM!" (we've never had chocolate chip ice cream)

He has been so curious about bodies lately. We got him a couple of books to help explain things and he's always asking us to tell him "a little bit more" about his brain/heart/lungs/kidneys/digestive system, etc. One day Adam and I were having a conversation in the front of the car when Anders, staring at his arm, started yelling from the back: "MY BODY HEALED MY OWIE! Good job, body! Thank you, body! Goodbye."

Anders is wilting in the North Carolina heat. He seriously can't deal with anything over 85 degrees. One day while getting him out of the car into the bright sun he covered his face with his hands and said "my brain is hot!" Poor little Pacific Northwesterner.

He is constantly wanting us to tell him stories and he's very specific about the elements of the story that need to be present. Like he'll ask for a story about a train, and a crocodile, and ice cream. It can be a real challenge trying to squeeze that all into one story. One day he asked me to tell him about a white airplane and pink airplane (birthday party favors). Later in the day he was talking to Adam in the car.
Anders: "Dad, do planes talk?"
Adam: "No, planes don't talk but pilots flying the planes can talk to each other. In real life only people talk, not planes."
Anders (thinks it over for a bit): "Do toy stories talk?"

In addition to hearing stories Anders has been really into acting lately.Throughout the day he's constantly assigning roles to us and we have to quickly get into character and have a dialogue with him. We're reading James and the Giant Peach right now and although we'd love to be the different bugs that James becomes friends with that's not the part of the story he has latched onto. He'll always tell us "this is James" (pointing to himself) "this is Aunt Sponge" (pointing to Dad) "and this is Aunt Spiker" (pointing to me).  Then he likes us to be cruel to him by calling him a "nasty like boy" (he requests this particular phrase) and telling him he can't have any friends/toys/lemonade. It gets a little awkward when we have to act this one out in public but no CPS calls yet.

On a particularly grumpy night Adam was hauling him off to bed in tears while he yelled, "I don't want to go to the dentist!" You and me both buddy.

 

Anders: "Mom, do you feel sick?"
Me: "Oh yes! <cough, cough> I'm so sick!"
Anders: "Can I say a prayer for you? Dear Heavenly Father, we're so grateful for this day, <mumble mumble> mommy feel better <mumble, mumble> NAME OF JESUS CHRIST AMEN!"

Watching Rosie throw a piece of broccoli across the room: "Classic Rosie"

Oh, Anders. I don't care how many times you make me say it, you're not a nasty little boy. You're actually quite a peach.

Anders in October

Anders has been a fun little buddy this past month. I think he can sense that fall is the best season. I feel bad that Adam has been missing out on so many of our adventures (usually seeing him for 15-20 minutes at night....whomp, whomp), but we've taken advantage of the days he has had off to get out and do all the fall things and I think that deserves a blog post. Plus I would just feel really bad for you if you never saw these pumpkin patch comparison pictures.

  At the "punky patch". Which has been his response to the question "what did you do today?" for the last 3 weeks. And yes, he posed himself for these.

Mr. Independent picking out a punkin. 
 He'll probably be petitioning for emancipation by next fall.

Comparison shot #1: My little squish one year later. 
Still squishy, still handsome, still just a little dazed.

Comparison shot #2: Mom and baby side-by-side to demonstrate how we've both done a little growing this past year. And despite what the sign says that pumpkin is NOT FOR SALE!

We're all looking miraculously semi-decent in this hastily snapped hay ride picture

If it's fall and it's not raining we're at the park. 

 

This little face kills me.

 

 Props to Dad for this amazing fire truck. He loved it and so did his buddies who spent a good portion of the night fighting over who got the next ride.

Happy little "fighter-fighter" on the best night of his life.

"just take us to the candy"

Trick-or-treat tutorial from Dad at the first house

A few houses later he had it down...
and by the end of the night he was really laying it on thick

All holidays are better with kids but Halloween has set the bar pretty high this year. Let's see what Thanksgiving and Christmas can do.

PS...If you just can't get enough of Anders (it's perfectly natural) you're gonna want to check out the Baa Baa Black Sheep video on Vimeo. Anders seems to have inherited his mother's perfect tone.

Anders at....he'll be 2 in January

Anders is coming up on 21 months now, though I never really know what to say when people ask me how old he is. I feel like he's getting a little old for the months answer and besides, it doesn't really capture the essence of Anders. What I'd like to say is "he's 21 months old, but as tall as a 15 month old, as heavy as a 3 year old, and with the emotional maturity of a 16 year old girl". Instead I usually settle for "he'll be 2 in January". TWO! Can't believe it's coming up on us so quickly. Thankfully he has been preparing us for this season of life for the past 9 months so there's no way we're going to be blind sided by the terrible twos. #blessed

Despite the tantrums and defiance this has to be my favorite age so far. He's developing such a personality and we love hearing him talk in his adorable, mixed up sentences. He's starting to be a little social butterfly. He has always loved kids. As soon as he catches sight of kids when we're out in public he zones in on them, starts laughing at their jokes, and thinks he can hang with them no matter their age. But lately he has started striking up conversations with adults too. We were at the zoo the other day and he had a stream of dialogue going with this random woman at the otter exhibit. As the otter would swim back and forth he would say, "where''d he go? otter go? oh! there he is! find him!" for like seriously 15 minutes. It wasn't getting old to me or him, but I can't speak for this poor woman.

More Andersisms of 21 months that I don't want to forget

• "Come on Mama/Daddy/Oliver! Pay yegos!" (while beckoning us with his hand)
• "Here go, Mama" (when handing me something I almost never want)
• "Hurt your finger" -what he says anytime he hurts anything
• "Bonk your head"- any time he gets in trouble he says he bonked his head to get sympathy
• Gives himself pep talks- "Good dump it out!" "Good helping Anders!" "Careful Anders" (when doing something dangerous like jumping on the bed)
• When we tell him it's time to say prayers he folds his arms and says "Heavenly Father, thank you day" Maybe his mother and father need to work on their vain repetitions...
• Thinks everything is funny. "funny dog" "funny yogurt" "funny trash truck". It's really not all that funny
• Counting. I can't do it justice so I'll have to post it a video. Adam thinks he has disparnumerophobia. #notarealdisease

Other than that he's pretty much your typical toddler. He loves animals and is getting really brave around dogs, even letting them lick his face and smack him with their tails. He loves construction and we check in on the two construction sites on our street every day. He's getting interested in dinosaurs and calls them all "big T-Rex" no matter how many times I correct him. And I know my dinosaurs. He gets so frustrated when things don't go his way and throws himself down on the ground in true toddler fashion. He's a great eater one day and the next won't touch anything we give him. He loves Oliver and they freak out every morning they see each other (which is like 5 mornings a week) but then I hear "Anders' turn" all day in reference to anything that Oliver has, so we're still working on sharing. Loves books and has lots of words and phrases memorized. Always wants to be as naked as we'll let him be (as evidenced by the below pictures). He'll ask for "shirt off, pants off, socks off" then try for "diaper off" but we stop him there. He's interested in babies and holding his baby doll but can't understand why he can't find the baby in Mama's tummy. I mean, I could go on forever but I'll probably just leave you with an onslaught of pictures. 

 

washing machine maintenance

always happy to pet your dog at the park

"here go, mama"

mid-week breakfast date with the big D

crazy times at the park with his two best buds Oliver and Audrey 

(also, all toddler girls are named Audrey)

always requesting "buddles" in the bath

sitting on this fake hippo is always, always better than seeing the live hippos

you can never be too safe while puzzling

 Adam requested a picture of Anders while at work and I sent him the first one I took. 

Beggars can't be choosers!

And in closing, here's the video I promised. Not sure how to make it not look so funky and huge? For those who don't speak Anders he's trying to count but keeps getting distracted by fire trucks and trash trucks. He finally settles on "1, 2, 5, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14! 16, 16, 16, 16!"

He's my best little buddy and I love him to pieces.

Anders at 1.25

Anders is 15 months old and is in full blown toddler mode. Running around destroying the house, learning new words every day, throwing epic tantrums in public, the whole nine yards. There's so much about this age I don't want to forget (and quite a few things I'd love to), so I wanted to jot down a little bit about Anders right now.

Moving and grooving! He walks all over the place, is starting to run and figure out stairs, pretends to jump, wrestles with Mom, Dad, and Oliver, loooooves being chased around the house, climbs on play structures and can slide by himself. We're having so much fun taking him to parks almost every day but he's also happy to just hang out in the backyard in our little 12'x8' patch of grass. You take what you can get in the city!

Talking up a storm. Probably my favorite thing about this age. He's learning new words every day it seems and it always surprises me the things he picks up on. He has maybe 30 words that he uses on a regular basis and also speaks Hebrew fluently (we think, still waiting to have this confirmed). I can't wait until that magical day when his use of words helps avoid meltdowns. Tell me this happens at 16 months.

Still loves to read. He brings us a constant stream of books throughout the day (and has figured out how to scoot backwards into our laps so we can read them to him) which is mostly awesome but if I'm trying to get something done it can be a little heartbreaking. He's currently loving the Olivia books, Little Critter, and "Toot" which he discovered from his friend William who is obviously a terrible influence.

Loves Dad best. A new development while we were in California. If Adam tries to hand Anders off to me he'll cry and cling to him (Anders clinging to Adam, that is). So strange. I enjoyed it at first because it meant my hands were free but I can't say it doesn't sting a tiny bit every time. I've taken to whispering disparaging things about Adam in Anders' ear whenever we're alone together. #sorrynotsorry

Crazy mood swings! I don't know if we'll ever be blessed with a daughter, but if we are I'm so ready for the teen years. I'm not sure where he got his high stress personality (averts eyes) but Anders seems to go from happy to sad to happy at the drop of a hat. No longer will I secretly judge the parent who goes running from a restaurant/store with a screaming toddler. That has been me more times than I'd like to admit.

 

Sleeping pretty well but goes to bed late (8-8:30) and wakes up early (6-6:30). He still takes two naps and the late bedtime allows us to be out later when we want so I don't complain too much, only every morning at 6 AM. Especially after traveling with our friends whose baby goes to bed at the same time as Anders and then sleeps in 2 hours after him in the morning. Come on, man!

Also loves: group hugs, challah bread, washing machines, his binky ("key-key"), rocks/sticks, trash trucks ("ka kucks"), big kids and babies ("ba-buh"), all animals, balls ("da" for a ball in general or "dada" for a ball with a specific name (basketball, soccer ball, etc), no idea where this came from), the sand box, and food (especially carbs).

In conclusion, Anders is totally nailing the toddler thing. It's like he read the book on being a toddler only it wasn't him, it was me! I read the book and I'm still way out of my league with this firecracker. 15 months is the best and the worst but I wouldn't change a thing about him. Except maybe his umbilical hernia because it's weird and might require surgery.