8.06.2017

Andersisms 3.5

He's at it again, folks...

Mom: I need some personal space

Anders: I need some personal space on your lap

While battling two of his dinosaurs:

"When they're fighting they're in the Ice Age and when they're being nice they're in the Book of Mormon"


Mom and Dad were talking about the monstrous portions Anders had been eating at lunch 
Mom: maybe I just need to start cutting him off
Anders: what does that mean?
Mom: it means not giving you any more food
10 minutes later
Anders: more pizza please
Mom: that's enough pizza
Anders (with a mouth full of food): Are you cutting me off?


Introducing himself to another boy at library story time:
Anders: Hi, I'm Anders
Boy: introduces himself by his full name in a verrrry thick southern accent
Anders: Dad, he's speaking Spanish!

Observing his poop in a restaurant bathroom, "Dad look! I see a bear swimming!" <looks deeper into the toilet> "And a snake!"


While accidentally locked in his room (on the same day we had gotten locked out of the house) and trying unsuccessfully to open the lock.
"(Sigh) Mom, maybe we should just call a locksman."

Aunt Jessica: Anders, what do you want for your birthday?
Anders: Corn.

While laying on the bed next to Rosie reading books, Rosie leaned over and grabbed at Anders face
Anders: Oh, mom! Rosie learned how to scratch people when they have itches!


Mom: Anders for the last time, GO POTTY!
Anders: BUT GIANT GROUND SLOTHS DON'T GO POTTY!


While letting him sit in the front seat while we drove down the driveway: 
"Now we're like two brothers!"


While waiting at a stop light and feeling the booming bass from the car next to us
Anders: what song is that?
Mom: I don't know what it's called. Some kind of rap song. 
Anders: Is it about cars?
(quietly to himself): no its not about cars
Is it about butterflies?

Mom: Anders what are you going to order at brunch
Anders: maybe French toast! Does it have a French horn in it?


Anders had just done something mean to Rosie and dad pulled him to the side to have a talk. 
Dad: so what are you going to do next time?
Anders: stop, collaborate, and listen? 


While looking for a specific pen
Mom: what does it look like?
Anders (holding up one finger): it looks like a line across


While dog sitting for our friend's dog Max:
Anders (calling out from the next room): Max, where are you?
Mom: Max is in the kitchen with me
<pause>
Anders: what is he making?

While telling me about a fictional museum downtown with a dog that bites people
Mom: I don't want to go to that museum!
Anders: yeah only mean people go there. Joker, Donald Trump, Chick Hicks....



So in summation: food, bad guys, and the bathroom. Someone must be three!