Andersisms 3.5

He's at it again, folks...

Mom: I need some personal space

Anders: I need some personal space on your lap

While battling two of his dinosaurs:

"When they're fighting they're in the Ice Age and when they're being nice they're in the Book of Mormon"

Mom and Dad were talking about the monstrous portions Anders had been eating at lunch 
Mom: maybe I just need to start cutting him off
Anders: what does that mean?
Mom: it means not giving you any more food
10 minutes later
Anders: more pizza please
Mom: that's enough pizza
Anders (with a mouth full of food): Are you cutting me off?

Introducing himself to another boy at library story time:
Anders: Hi, I'm Anders
Boy: introduces himself by his full name in a verrrry thick southern accent
Anders: Dad, he's speaking Spanish!

Observing his poop in a restaurant bathroom, "Dad look! I see a bear swimming!" <looks deeper into the toilet> "And a snake!"

While accidentally locked in his room (on the same day we had gotten locked out of the house) and trying unsuccessfully to open the lock.
"(Sigh) Mom, maybe we should just call a locksman."

Aunt Jessica: Anders, what do you want for your birthday?
Anders: Corn.

While laying on the bed next to Rosie reading books, Rosie leaned over and grabbed at Anders face
Anders: Oh, mom! Rosie learned how to scratch people when they have itches!

Mom: Anders for the last time, GO POTTY!

While letting him sit in the front seat while we drove down the driveway: 
"Now we're like two brothers!"

While waiting at a stop light and feeling the booming bass from the car next to us
Anders: what song is that?
Mom: I don't know what it's called. Some kind of rap song. 
Anders: Is it about cars?
(quietly to himself): no its not about cars
Is it about butterflies?

Mom: Anders what are you going to order at brunch
Anders: maybe French toast! Does it have a French horn in it?

Anders had just done something mean to Rosie and dad pulled him to the side to have a talk. 
Dad: so what are you going to do next time?
Anders: stop, collaborate, and listen? 

While looking for a specific pen
Mom: what does it look like?
Anders (holding up one finger): it looks like a line across

While dog sitting for our friend's dog Max:
Anders (calling out from the next room): Max, where are you?
Mom: Max is in the kitchen with me
Anders: what is he making?

While telling me about a fictional museum downtown with a dog that bites people
Mom: I don't want to go to that museum!
Anders: yeah only mean people go there. Joker, Donald Trump, Chick Hicks....

So in summation: food, bad guys, and the bathroom. Someone must be three!



Anders is universally considered to be the funniest member of the family. Even Rosie agrees. Here are some of his more memorable quotes of the last couple of months

A few days after the 4th of July we heard Rosie crying and went upstairs to get her up from her nap. Anders beat me there and when I walked into the room I heard him telling her, "It's ok sweetheart. Don't cry. Mommy's here. Did the fireworks scare you?" I think he may have been projecting ;)


He also got really into the Star Spangled Banner and started asking for it as his bedtime song. Those octave jumps are not kind to the Von Ottley Family Singers.


Upon seeing that Anders had colored in a book
Me: "Anders, did you color in this book?"
Anders (whispering with his finger to his mouth): "Shhhh, mom, we need to be quiet. Rosie's sleeping"

I came out of the bathroom to this scene and Anders immediately piped up, "I didn't color on my hands! I was just coloring on paper!"

Anders was supposed to be napping but had been playing in bed for over an hour. I went to go check on him and he was laying on his back with his hands as binoculars over his eyes. He looked up at me and said seriously, "I'm keeping my eyes peeled...for motorcycles"

While in a public bathroom with Adam
Adam: "Anders, don't touch anything in here"
Anders, standing inches from the stall door: "can I touch this with my....nose?"
Adam: "um, ok."
Anders, touches the door with his nose and in the process bumps it with the rest of his body: "Can I touch it with my...belly?"

While grocery shopping
Me: "ok, we need some..."
Anders: "CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM!" (we've never had chocolate chip ice cream)

He has been so curious about bodies lately. We got him a couple of books to help explain things and he's always asking us to tell him "a little bit more" about his brain/heart/lungs/kidneys/digestive system, etc. One day Adam and I were having a conversation in the front of the car when Anders, staring at his arm, started yelling from the back: "MY BODY HEALED MY OWIE! Good job, body! Thank you, body! Goodbye."

Anders is wilting in the North Carolina heat. He seriously can't deal with anything over 85 degrees. One day while getting him out of the car into the bright sun he covered his face with his hands and said "my brain is hot!" Poor little Pacific Northwesterner.

He is constantly wanting us to tell him stories and he's very specific about the elements of the story that need to be present. Like he'll ask for a story about a train, and a crocodile, and ice cream. It can be a real challenge trying to squeeze that all into one story. One day he asked me to tell him about a white airplane and pink airplane (birthday party favors). Later in the day he was talking to Adam in the car.
Anders: "Dad, do planes talk?"
Adam: "No, planes don't talk but pilots flying the planes can talk to each other. In real life only people talk, not planes."
Anders (thinks it over for a bit): "Do toy stories talk?"

In addition to hearing stories Anders has been really into acting lately.Throughout the day he's constantly assigning roles to us and we have to quickly get into character and have a dialogue with him. We're reading James and the Giant Peach right now and although we'd love to be the different bugs that James becomes friends with that's not the part of the story he has latched onto. He'll always tell us "this is James" (pointing to himself) "this is Aunt Sponge" (pointing to Dad) "and this is Aunt Spiker" (pointing to me).  Then he likes us to be cruel to him by calling him a "nasty like boy" (he requests this particular phrase) and telling him he can't have any friends/toys/lemonade. It gets a little awkward when we have to act this one out in public but no CPS calls yet.

On a particularly grumpy night Adam was hauling him off to bed in tears while he yelled, "I don't want to go to the dentist!" You and me both buddy.


Anders: "Mom, do you feel sick?"
Me: "Oh yes! <cough, cough> I'm so sick!"
Anders: "Can I say a prayer for you? Dear Heavenly Father, we're so grateful for this day, <mumble mumble> mommy feel better <mumble, mumble> NAME OF JESUS CHRIST AMEN!"

Watching Rosie throw a piece of broccoli across the room: "Classic Rosie"

Oh, Anders. I don't care how many times you make me say it, you're not a nasty little boy. You're actually quite a peach.

Six Months of Rosie

Our favorite little lady is six months old! After a rocky couple of months our little Rose seems to be in full bloom. The whole family is just crazy about her and now you can be too!

So let's just get this out of the way first, shall we? When we were in the hospital we noticed that she cried a lot and didn't really sleep the way newborns usually do. Not a big deal, though. Oh and she startled really easily. Like, every time a nurse came into the room (so, every 30 minutes) she would jump out of her skin and start wailing. It's cool. At her four day old appointment we mentioned that she seemed to cry a lot to our pediatrician but that we didn't think it could be colic because wasn't she too young for that? Apparently our baby is super advanced. It was colic! The whole thing lasted about eight weeks and it's all a blur now. Thank goodness for other moms of former colic-y babies who commiserated that yes, it was terrible, but it would also be short lived and someday we would fall head over heels for this baby. And oh were they right. Ok, let's get to the good stuff!

Rosie is a veritable ray of sunshine. She passes out smiles left and right and leaves everyone she meets in a puddle on the floor. Literally every time we take her out we get at least two or three comments about what a happy girl she is (and a couple more about her thighs, more on that later). She's totally content to just sit in her stroller and full body grin at everyone who glances her way. Bless you, child.

Big girl! Just how big is Rosie? Wouldn't you love to know. Actually, we'd all love to know but we can't take her to the doctor until we get insurance in September. Hey-O! But her 3-6 month clothes are straining to contain all of her chubby goodness. So different from Anders at this age. When we were in the hospital the lactation consultant encouraged me to feed her for at least 10-15 minutes on each side. I was like, "umm...pretty sure she's done in 5". She's a super eater and always has been. We've been giving her more solids lately and she growls whenever we try to take something away from her. Definitely a Wolfe family trait.

Her three greatest loves are food (see above), swimming, and Anders. No one can get a laugh out of Rosie like Anders can. If she's riding in the stroller without him she'll crane her neck around to get a glance at him and if she's upset, she cheers up the minute he walks in the room. And the best part is, the love is mutual! Anders (mostly) adores his baby sister. It's my favorite thing about being a mom of two.

CRAAAAWLING! We kind of knew we were in for trouble with this one when she started rolling over at two weeks old. Sure enough, she started army crawling a few weeks ago and has now moved on to planking and propping herself up on her hands and knees. I have mixed feelings about early crawling but overall I think babies get easier the more independent they get so I'm embracing it. 

Other things about Rosie I want to remember:
  • Not a big reader. Unlike her brother she's not super interested in being read to. She'd rather just eat the book, thank you very much.
  • Has had two bottles in her life but only because I'm too lazy to pump. She takes them just fine.
  • Has about a million nicknames: Rosie, Rose, Ro-Ro, Rosie Posie, little sister, baby girl...everything is fair game.
  • She has four toys and otherwise plays with cars, dinosaurs and her wipes package.
  • Her hair naturally falls into a middle part. When she was born she had the funkiest hair you've ever seen. I won't even attempt to describe it. It's much better now but still falls funny in the front. Good luck with that, baby girl.

Overall she's our mellow, happy, go-with-the-flow girl! She treks along on all our family adventures and never complains, even though it usually means interrupted naps and feedings on the go.  She's the perfect addition to our family and I wouldn't swap her for anything.


Everything Is Rosie

Before the details get any more hazy I want to record a little bit, ooooorrrrr a lot a bit, about Rosie's birth story. She's already the most underdocumented baby of 2016 (I think she has like five pictures on Instagram) so this is the least I can do. 

The baby was due on February 15th. President’s Day! But of course everyone knows that second babies come earlier than the first so I figured I’d have a baby in my arms sometime in the beginning of February. I had a lot of contractions throughout my pregnancy but in the last week or two I had so many that would start, get more consistent and painful, and then peter out.  At my 40 week appointment on Wednesday the 17th, I got a NST and ultrasound which I not-so-secretly hoped would get me sent to labor and delivery. Fortunately and unfortunately the baby looked great. The heartbeat was strong and there was plenty of fluid so no reason to induce. We set my induction for my doctor’s next call day, Saturday the 20th, and went home expecting to see her Saturday morning.  

On Friday morning the 19th I woke up around 7:30 and felt a contraction that was stronger than any I had felt before. Still manageable but I definitely had to focus to get through it. I started timing contractions on my phone but they were only coming every 8-12 minutes so I figured that if this was labor we had a long way to go. I woke up Adam and we decided to get the day started so we could take care of some last minute things (laundry, cleaning the house, etc) that we’d been putting off. I hoped to make it until my friend Erin got off work at 3 so we wouldn’t have to shuffle Anders around during the day. Around 8:30 my contractions started getting really close together and a lot more painful but they were only lasting for 30 seconds, not quite meeting the 5:1:1 requirement. I called the on call nurse to ask her if I was in labor and she was like, “um…you were dilated to a 4 on Wednesday and this is your second baby. You need to come in.”  No time to wait for Erin or even to shower or eat breakfast. Adam ran around getting things ready while I walked around the house crying like a bimbo, not from pain (although, ouch) but from the guilt of knowing that this was our last time as a family of three. Anders was being so cute and sweet and I hated knowing that he might have a rough transition with the new baby. And then, to add insult to injury, right before we walked out the door Anders threw up for the first time in his life (which we attributed to sipping out of an empty water bottle) but there was no time to worry about that now! We popped him in the car, dropped him off with his friend Sadie and took the looooongest car ride to the hospital.

When we checked in I was dilated to a 6 or 7. Lots of women would have rejoiced at that news but all I could think about was getting 4 hours of antibiotics before I delivered the baby. Curse you, Group B Strep! I think we walked into the hospital at 9:45 and I had an epidural and antibiotics started by 10. Epidurals. I can’t say enough good things about them. Once I was comfortable my only job was to stay still so my water wouldn’t break. The nurses and doctor weren’t optimistic that I could make it to 2:00 but thought that keeping my water intact gave us the best chance of slowing down labor. This also meant that I wasn’t getting checked very often and just chose to ignore any feelings of pressure or needing to push. Some women are very good at delivering babies but I’ve found that when I put my mind to it I’m very, very good at not delivering a baby.

Every hour I stayed pregnant felt like a victory and we began to relax knowing that Anders was having fun with his friends and assuming that if everything went smoothly we’d probably be out of the hospital the following morning. At 1:55 my doctor came in and decided that since we had hit the 4 hour mark it was time to break my water and get things moving! After she broke my water she gave me a  little while to really feel like I needed to push. I think I maybe started pushing around 2:30. I pushed for one or two contractions and then she told me that the baby was pretty much coming out on its own and I could relax. I actually watched the baby’s head come out in her glasses which was not really something I cared to see but it was pretty cool. We could see the baby had lots of hair and I was dying to finally know if it was a boy or a girl, since we really had no feeling either way. Finally, at 2:36, the baby slid all the way out and Adam did a happy laugh and announced, “it’s a girl!” with the biggest smile on his face. Since there had been meconium in the fluid the baby went to the pediatricians while I freaked out that A) I had a daughter (!) and B) I didn’t think she was crying enough. Adam and the doctor were trying to reassure me that she was fine but I really wanted to hear a louder cry. And boy, I got my wish. By the time they brought her to me she was really wailing and she cried for the next 45 minutes I had her on my chest (and the following eight weeks but that’s another story). Anders had been so calm when he was born so I really wasn’t used to this and kept asking Adam if she was ok. She didn’t really calm down until she got swaddled and passed off to Adam.  

I would really like to skip over this next part of the story but for the sake of posterity  and authenticity I should record that I had a really rough post-delivery. My doctor was having trouble getting the bleeding under control and had to call in another OB, an anesthesiologist and several more nurses to help. A couple of hours passed where they were trying to stitch me up and I was in and out of sleep. I just kept watching the number of used towels on the white board tick up and up and up (I think the final number was around 35), while my blood pressure went down, down, down (to around 70s/40s). There was talk of a blood transfusion but they were able to get the bleeding under control enough that they decided to let me wait it out and see if my body could take care of things on its own. They didn’t want my hematocrit to go below 21 and my lowest level was 21.4. Phew.


During the stitching up phase, we called our families and announced the birth of Rosemary Something Ottley. We later got in trouble for down playing the seriousness of my condition but didn’t want to ruin a happy moment by worrying everyone. We ended up staying in labor and delivery through the night and the following day we moved to post-partum where I continued to recuperate while they watched my hematocrit and gave me a couple of doses of IV iron. I think it was Saturday afternoon that we got the email from my Grandma letting us know that Rosemary not only shared a birthday with her uncle, my brother, Brian, but also her great-Grandma Joy, who I’m named after. We had been struggling to find a middle name for our girl and that pretty much sealed the deal. Rosemary Joy Ottley. 


On Saturday night Anders came to the hospital to meet baby Rosie and it was love at first sight. All of my worrying had been for nothing. He loved her right off the bat and was thrilled with the toy airplane she gave him.

The thirty minutes he was in the room with us were some of the happiest of our lives.   

On Sunday morning I told my nurse that my only goal was to go home as soon as possible. We pushed everything along and were able to leave around noon. 

I’ve never been happier to walk through my own front door! Adam’s sister Nancy had come the night before and stayed with us until Monday and then we were on our own. The recovery from this delivery was not quite as smooth sailing as I had hoped. I was very weak from the loss of blood, sore, and nursing was not really going much better the second time around. Oh and Postpartum PUPPS


That was fun. 

But all of that stuff worked itself out in the first couple of weeks and then all we had to worry about was the colic. Oh, the colic! I might write more about that in another post but I will say that the greatest gift of a second baby is the knowledge that everything is so temporary. You know it the first time around too, but now you actually believe it. And the newborn phase might never be my favorite but I'm a sucker for a baby passed out on my chest. Man, that's a total gateway drug to having a million more babies, but I'll probably settle for one ;)

And I guess that's all there is to say about that. Except that I kind of can't believe how ga-ga I am for this baby. She wakes up every morning coo-ing to herself and even though it's usually 6:00 and I'd love an extra hour or two of sleep I can't think of a better way to start my day. 

With a girl like Rosie, how can I be blue?


Merry Christmas to Blog, and to Blog a Goodnight

Keeping up on this blog is always so much work but I love looking back on it. You know who doesn't? Adam. So Merry Christmas to the guy who has commented to me a number of times this year how blogs are dead. Well baby, your wife still writes on hers!


Anders and Oliver

I think I've mentioned on here before that I was watching another little boy (Adam's co-resident's son) during the day. He started coming last May when he was two months and Anders was four months. Before the job started I told myself that it would be hard at the beginning but if I just powered through the payoff would be when they were both toddlers and could pal around together. And that's basically exactly what happened. The first six months were rough to brutal and I thought about throwing in the towel a few times but I stuck with it and magically, about a year ago things just started to get easier. And since we've been home from Idaho its been a dream. Despite having completely opposite personalities, they've been the best of friends and it has been so fun to watch them chase each other around the house and crack up at their inside jokes. Oliver's last day was Friday and it already feels weird not to have him around. Like, how does one entertain a toddler by themselves? Especially at 32 weeks pregnant. I just don't have the energy for it. Come back and watch my kid for me, Oliver!
 Tiny babes. I hardly remember them being this small, probably because I've blocked these early months from my memory.
 I was trying to take periodic pictures of them sitting in this chair but that kind of died out after a while. But here's a good comparison shot. Anders is really looking like The Donald in this one.
Notice one keeps growing up and the other is growing out  

 First trip to the (dirty, dirty) sandbox. Back when I was knocking fistfuls of sand away from their mouths every 10 seconds.

 Dental check-up


Tried to have a little photo shoot on their last day. Trust me that this was the best shot. Toddlers...

Luckily for Anders, I'm making him another playmate right now! T-minus 8 weeks until delivery, and then only another oh....year and a half until they'll be friends?